February 13, 2009
look around
good graffiti, soho, nyc, Canon Rebel Xti
Love is such a deep, rich topic and it came up a lot during my time in nyc. One thing I was reminded of is that love is not a linear process. Despite what our culture and movies and teach us, it is not a boy meets girl then lives happily ever after kind of thing. Or sometimes it is, then it changes and the real work starts, the kind that doesn't make good tv. Real love includes all of it and if you get four ladies in a room to talk about love, you will see that no one is better off than the other or farther along on some fictional timeline. We are actually standing in a circle, growing in different ways, all learning the same things in the end: how to love ourselves and others better and better.
This happens when we are not in a relationship, when we are longing for a partner and wondering if they will ever come. This happens when we are 20 years in and wondering if we made the right choices or if we made too many mistakes. This happens when we seem to have it all and wonder if the other shoe is going to drop.
Wherever you are in love, I want to be that whisper, that antidote to the Am I doing it right? Did I blow it? Will it ever happen for me? and say, Where you are is good. Start here. It's imperfect and it always will be. It will be fierce and ordinary and torn and mended again. We will circle back and start once more. The goal is not some happily ever after, but a happily ever now.
I think the Buddhists have it right when they say that everything, suffering and joy alike, exist only in the moment. I suspect that in every moment there is the opportunity for love. Look around. Love is there. All over.
Posted on February 13, 2009 07:49 AM
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Posted by: Dhlomdkb at June 26, 2009 02:34 AMandrea,
i love, love, love your whisper antidote. it soothes me perfectly. i wrote in on a paper and hung it over my desk so that it can keep it in mind everyday.
thank you.
jen
Posted by: Jen at February 23, 2009 08:53 AMThe more I marinate in Buddhist teachings the more I wonder how I could have missed this simple truth for so long (although I suspect I understood it well as a wee child) that there is no other possible place to live (or to love) than in each moment.
wow. so timely. after the most tangled-up 2 years of relationships, i've finally met someone amazing - and then noticed that this really is the simple bit, the rest is caring for it, and each other and ourselves. it doesn't stop the anxieties (what if i'm wrong? what if he's wrong? what if we take it for granted? etc...) - am i doing it wrong? thanks for the gentle voice saying 'you're doing fine. we're all doing fine.'
x
thank you for this, dear & wise beauty*
xo,
gem
Just beautiful...
Posted by: Lunarmusings at February 15, 2009 03:08 PMI **love** this Andrea.
Thanks so much.
As always you are inspiring and thought provoking and touching a nerve of what I feel also.
Love
Bxo
I **love** this Andrea.
Thanks so much.
As always you are inspiring and thought provoking and touching a nerve of what I feel also.
Love
Bxo
What a wonderful post. And I just love the photo of the "good graffiti". Thanks for the reminder that love is really all there is. Really!
It's also nice to find another creative entrepreneur in my neck of the woods.I live in Hayward and have my expressive arts studio in Oakland. And, by the way, just LOVE your jewelry!
Posted by: chris Zydel at February 15, 2009 10:53 AMWhat a wonderful post. And I just love the photo of the "good graffiti". Thanks for the reminder that love is really all there is. Really!
It's also nice to find another creative entrepreneur in my neck of the woods.I live in Hayward and have my expressive arts studio in Oakland. And, by the way, just LOVE your jewelry!
Posted by: chris Zydel at February 15, 2009 10:52 AMLove is true.
So much love!
:)
Thank you for this deep and powerful reminder Andrea :)
Posted by: Goddess Leonie I Creative Goddess at February 14, 2009 11:07 PMthis post is beautiful and resonates deeply with me...i try to stop myself from wondering where that shoe is...life and love is so good right now...i must just enjoy this lovely ride...happy valentines day to you andrea.
Posted by: jessica at February 14, 2009 06:35 PMBeautifully put.
Posted by: nova at February 14, 2009 06:14 PMBeuatifully put.
Posted by: nova at February 14, 2009 06:13 PMall so true and lovely...
Posted by: Patience at February 14, 2009 08:37 AMIndeed, these emotions only exist in the moment.
Thankfully and sadly, all at the same time.
i love this...
Posted by: Patience at February 14, 2009 08:06 AMi love this...
Posted by: Patience at February 14, 2009 08:06 AMi love this...
Posted by: Patience at February 14, 2009 08:06 AMa perfectly timed whisper in my ear . . .Thank YOU*
Posted by: amy k at February 13, 2009 10:58 PMyes, and thank you, andrea!
Posted by: Amy at February 13, 2009 10:11 PMBeautifully stunning words... thank you.
Posted by: catherine at February 13, 2009 09:42 PMThank you for these words Andrea. I've chosen to give marriage another chance (with a different person!) and am sometimes afraid of the inevitable imperfection. I needed the reminder that it's ok.
Smiles to you,
Stephanie
thanks lovely you.
your whisper has me teary. exactly what i needed to hear!
This? Your words? They are right on. They are true and perfect.
Thank you for yourself.
Posted by: Lindsey Alyce at February 13, 2009 07:45 PMthank you for this.
in love and light, k
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
I agree. Love is all around us. We just need to open our eyes and look. I just listened to your interview with Jamie. I enjoyed it immensely. You gave me great tips that I'm going to use.
Posted by: Shell at February 13, 2009 05:24 PMI want to believe...
Posted by: Anna at February 13, 2009 04:47 PMlove.actually.is.all.around... (from the movie, Love Actually)
:)
Your post brought tears to my eyes... and yes, it might be that emotional time of the month for me... you know, when the water works fall a bit easier. (wink, wink) BUT, your post was amazing. I needed a little whisper. Because without those little whispers in my life, I am a terrible worrier. I worry worry worry about all of my decisions. And, my recent decisions in love have led me to wonder some of those things. And I know it was the right decision... I am in love and happy with this next step. But, I still worry sometimes... this could be IT... **butterflies in tummy**
Thanks for putting it out there and sending that whisper.
Oh, and I LOVE the idea of "we are actually standing in a circle, growing in different ways." ... so true.
Posted by: Jen at February 13, 2009 04:47 PMlove.actually.is.all.around... (from the movie, Love Actually)
:)
Your post brought tears to my eyes... and yes, it might be that emotional time of the month for me... you know, when the water works fall a bit easier. (wink, wink) BUT, your post was amazing. I needed a little whisper. Because without those little whispers in my life, I am a terrible worrier. I worry worry worry about all of my decisions. And, my recent decisions in love have led me to wonder some of those things. And I know it was the right decision... I am in love and happy with this next step. But, I still worry sometimes... this could be IT... **butterflies in tummy**
Thanks for putting it out there and sending that whisper.
Oh, and I LOVE the idea of "we are actually standing in a circle, growing in different ways." ... so true.
Posted by: Jen at February 13, 2009 04:45 PMlove.actually.is.all.around... (from the movie, Love Actually)
:)
Your post brought tears to my eyes... and yes, it might be that emotional time of the month for me... you know, when the water works fall a bit easier. (wink, wink) BUT, your post was amazing. I needed a little whisper. Because without those little whispers in my life, I am a terrible worrier. I worry worry worry about all of my decisions. And, my recent decisions in love have led me to wonder some of those things. And I know it was the right decision... I am in love and happy with this next step. But, I still worry sometimes... this could be IT... **butterflies in tummy**
Thanks for putting it out there and sending that whisper.
Oh, and I LOVE the idea of "we are actually standing in a circle, growing in different ways." ... so true.
Posted by: Jen at February 13, 2009 04:44 PMAha, true. Love is the moment. Love is.
Posted by: Karen Maezen Miller at February 13, 2009 02:57 PMaaah! this is exactly what i needed, right this minute. thank you, i love you!!
Posted by: brittany at February 13, 2009 02:02 PMHappily Ever Now....yummy!
Trish
patriciadolan@comcast.net
Happily Ever Now....yummy!
Trish
patriciadolan@comcast.net
Happily Ever Now....yummy!
Trish
patriciadolan@comcast.net
love this, a.
the happily ever now most especially.
xo
Posted by: jen lemen at February 13, 2009 01:13 PMJust what my heart needed to hear. Thank you!
Posted by: Anne at February 13, 2009 12:42 PMthank you.
Posted by: Ani at February 13, 2009 12:20 PMThank you for this. Wisdom, perspective, authenticity, encouragement. Perfect post for today, with stupid hollow Valentine's day just around the corner. (Maybe you can tell that I've been torturing myself with those anxious questions a bit too much lately.)
Posted by: Anne at February 13, 2009 12:19 PMOh my... this is so very profound and true! As someone who picked her husband TWICE, I know that love is a choice. One of my favourite quotes about love is from Jason Mraz:
"It takes no time to fall in love, but it takes years to know what love is."
Thanks for this important reminder. xox
Posted by: jag at February 13, 2009 12:00 PMSimply beautiful and so well written! Pierced my veil of grumpiness this morning. Thank you.
Posted by: Diana at February 13, 2009 11:16 AMAll You Need is Love... that song just popped into my head!
Wonderful post... living in the moment is so important yet so difficult to do. Have you read Chasing Daylight? It talks a lot about that.
Posted by: Lauren at February 13, 2009 10:47 AMLove is all there is...
Posted by: Puanani at February 13, 2009 10:18 AMThis is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
I believe in love.
Posted by: Lea at February 13, 2009 10:04 AM