July 07, 2008

Having it all

cloud_graffiti.jpg
cloud graffiiti, Puerto Rico, Canon Rebel Xti

Yesterday I was with a friend who is thinking about having kids. I found myself saying, "It's hard!" then trying to balance that out with "I mean it's great!" and then of course seeing how both are true. It's that everything is cranked up so many notches. The great, the fun, the exasperating, the exhausted, the joy, the frustrating. All of it is in superdrive. It's life to the nth power.

And as I recover from my latest childhood illness and see the spots finally begin to disappear, I am reminded of my own tendancy to superdrive it through life, do too much, and as my parents used to tell me constantly, burn the candle at both ends.

I like to think that this comes from having a passion for life, for learning, for seeing beauty and capturing it... sometimes all I see is possibilities. I want to taste it all! To be a Nia master and a yogini, to learn spanish fluently in Barcelona, to have a hugely successful jewelry business, to be a fashion photographer, to travel the world, to write books, to learn to cook like my italian friend Viola. All the while having a soulful family life, balanced and relaxed, where we read a lot, play games with Ben and take long walks in the woods.

What I really want to say is that I haven't figured out how to have it all just yet, but I want to believe it's possible. And for me, I suspect it's about agreeing to having it all eventually, just not all at once. It's like a gorgeous meal where I want to taste everything, but I know if I put everything on my plate, I won't be able to savor each delicious bit. And so comes the picking and choosing.

I am curious what having it all would be for you. What does having it all look like in your world?

Posted on July 7, 2008 12:39 PM
Comments

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Posted by: flower1800 at July 22, 2008 05:29 AM

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Posted by: TurkinBergs at July 22, 2008 02:32 AM

I have most of it and it's already too much! Of course when I forget about how much I have, I yearn for extras like fabulous outdoor furniture and the time to lounge in it. Or a month in the Tobago Cays. Or hiring a house manager. But honestly most days I feel lucky when I survive work, mothering, being married, owning a house, having a dog, keeping up with friends, and the constant ebb and flow of crayons, papers, toys, and random clothing that covers my counter and dining room table.

Posted by: Kim the Midwife at July 11, 2008 09:34 AM

Hi there -

Thanks so much for the continued inspiration. You are just awesome! I posted my answer on my blog.

Posted by: Colleen at July 11, 2008 09:25 AM

oh how i wish i had an answer to this question. having it all looks like a soupy unfinished mess right now, and i find myself just wishing for a little focus in all my passion seeking. can't i just have "niche" passion? is that too much to ask? and then i wonder why i can't just appreciate being a person who is overflowing with wonder and appetite. why i can't just find satisfaction in the seeking. because i get to seek. i guess, it's that pesky concurrent need for accomplishment and completion that throws me all off.

always love your blog. thanks.

Posted by: Sheri at July 11, 2008 09:10 AM

having it "all," to me, means having a profound sense of inner peace, such that i am able to fully experience the perfection of each moment.

Posted by: josh at July 10, 2008 06:45 PM

Oh my goodness-well it looks just like yours my darling. LOL.

As I read this I just couldn't help but feel you were writing about me:)

This is the greatest thing about blogging.

You rock sister and you know what I think the key you emphasized here-maybe to accept not having it all at once?

Losing my mom at such a young age really gets my ego going that I should try for all at once, but like you said it is much harder to enjoy and savor it all when so much is piled on your plate.

XO

Posted by: Thea at July 10, 2008 05:48 AM

Andrea, this was such a wonderful post that I had to share it on my blog. And Fart Party Inside (from your previous post)...my gawd... almost died of laughter.

Posted by: Jeanine at July 10, 2008 03:41 AM

I am so unbelievably blessed to have a lot of what I want to have, actually. Could tweak for more of some things and less of others, but much of what I need to be happy is right here under my roof: my husband, my daughter, the luxury of being home with her, and the luxury of working part-time because my husband works full-time and gets benefits and five weeks of vacation. Not to mention having the home, which was once a seemingly impossible dream. I need less perfectionism and grumpiness from myself, more energy to keep up with everything in my extraordinarily full life, and the mindfulness to just be LIGHT and stay in a playful place every day.

I'm trying to launch my life coaching business (2nd part-time gig) and finding there's not quite enough time for that or for self-nurturing or creativity. And I'm not nurturing my friendships enough, which is vital to my happiness. But parenting is by far the most creative thing I've ever done. I say to people that it's like those old Army commercials, "The toughest job you'll ever love."

Posted by: paula at July 9, 2008 01:49 PM

It really is about slowing down, isn't it. realizing we have an entire life to reach all our goals. Hard to remember but something to work on for me.

Posted by: alex at July 9, 2008 08:42 AM

I have been a huge fan of yours for some time now and can relate to your daily life as I have a 20 month old daughter and also work from home.

When I stop and realize what I have, I definitely have it all, it's just finding/taking the time to appreciate it. My days are flying by and my daughter is growing even faster right before my eyes. My most significant struggle is between investing my time in my work vs. spending each minute I am losing with my daughter.

The past year and a half has definitely been the best and most challenging of my life.

For me it's about feeling satisfied at the end of the day when my daughter is tucked in bed, my husband is happily fed, the house is somewhat organized, the laundry is going (not done, just going) and I have 2-3 hours to myself in my studio to be creative and maybe accomplish something. This is all I have ever dreamed of. I believe the rest will fall into place if I continue to work hard for what I want.

I so enjoy your blog and find it inspiring and full of reasons to push on. Thanks so much writing!

Posted by: Kim at July 8, 2008 08:18 PM

I'm in my promised land or at least the first phase of it. I live on a beautiful alfalfa farm with a pecan orchard in front of my house, married to the sweetest guy ever, with enough money and time to create something new everyday. My kids are grown and healthy and contributing and my parents don't need me yet. My grandkids think I'm still perfect. This is my time and I think I have it all.

Posted by: odd chick at July 8, 2008 03:51 PM

Having it all to me, (right now), means having someone to come home to, to tell my secrets to, to laugh with, and share our dreams. To have someone who smiles when you walk in the room, touch feet under the covers, and cuddle up together.

Posted by: Jennifer at July 8, 2008 02:57 PM

Having it all doesn't mean a list of accomplishments to me but rather a feeling of love, of peace and of feeling like life is full and valuable.

Hugs.

Rebecca F.

PS. I said something to my girls this morning and my 6 year old responded. I said to her "No, Elizabeth just a liddle, liddle, liddle one." Then I chuckled and thought of Ben.....

Posted by: Rebecca F. at July 8, 2008 12:10 PM

Your site is a safe place to say (what otherwise might seem too cheesy): life is such a gorgeous gift. Once you accept that things will never be perfect and just how you envision them, you practically have it all already.

Posted by: junewell at July 8, 2008 09:22 AM

My youngest had hand mouth and foot when he was a toddler - it can be quite scary but it cleared up within a couple of weeks and he hasn't had it since.

I can totally relate to wanting everything at once, Barbara Sher books helped me to realise I can have all those things and that I have a whole life to accomplish them - not six months!

Posted by: denise at July 8, 2008 09:09 AM

I look at life as if I am sitting down to enjoy the most decadent piece of chocolate cake. I want experience the complex and incredible body of the chocolate and savor every bite. I don't want to eat it all at once though, a little at a time. The things I want to do in life are abundant and as full bodied as that chocolate cake; I know, that like that piece of chocolate cake, I don't want to experience them all at once. I want to fully and consciously experience each adventure and savor the moments. To experience all I want to do in life at one time would give me nothing to look forward to, no moments to savor. Each new year I choose one or two things from my list that I will accomplish that year, and always along the way I end up adding to my list for the future.

Posted by: Bridgemor at July 8, 2008 07:47 AM

I look at life as if I am sitting down to enjoy the most decadent piece of chocolate cake. I want experience the complex and incredible body of the chocolate and savor every bite. I don't want to eat it all at once though, a little at a time. The things I want to do in life are abundant and as full bodied as that chocolate cake; I know, that like that piece of chocolate cake, I don't want to experience them all at once. I want to fully and consciously experience each adventure and savor the moments. To experience all I want to do in life at one time would give me nothing to look forward to, no moments to savor. Each new year I choose one or two things from my list that I will accomplish that year, and always along the way I end up adding to my list for the future.

Posted by: Bridgemor at July 8, 2008 07:43 AM

I look at life as if I am sitting down to enjoy the most decadent piece of chocolate cake. I want experience the complex and incredible body of the chocolate and savor every bite. I don't want to eat it all at once though, a little at a time. The things I want to do in life are abundant and as full bodied as that chocolate cake; I know, that like that piece of chocolate cake, I don't want to experience them all at once. I want to fully and consciously experience each adventure and savor the moments. To experience all I want to do in life at one time would give me nothing to look forward to, no moments to savor. Each new year I choose one or two things from my list that I will accomplish that year, and always along the way I end up adding to my list for the future.

Posted by: Bridgemor at July 8, 2008 07:43 AM

Gosh, I don't know. I've spent most of my life being so curious and hopeful and in a hurry and wanting to try so many things at once. I've made my mental lists of what would make the best life. I've wondered if my life doesn't look like my list because I don't think I deserve the "best" life deep down. I've tried to think I do.

Somehow I've made my way toward having it all, it just doesn't look the way I'd planned. Surprise, surprise:-)

I seem to get bits and pieces of what I once would have called having it all. Nothing "good" comes all at once. I guess maybe having it all has become the realization that I already do have it all - and that it includes the difficult stuff and the easy, fun stuff. The difference has become my attitude toward the difficult stuff. I've chosen to put it all on the "good" side, even the things I would have called bad before.

I haven't been feeling well for months and months. I didn't know what was the matter. Finally, a little over a week ago, I said a prayer that whatever was wrong, God would either take it away totally or amp things up so I'd know what was going on. A day later I was in the hospital. It was my heart. I had no idea. I never would have guessed.

I was there for five days then back in the ER the day after I got home. My heart beat goes way up quickly but this is all tons of tests have shown. It brings other symptoms with it that feel scary and come at the worst times (like getting my son ready in the morning, or while driving).

At the end of last week I was finally home, walking at the end of a run in the rain. I was so grateful to have been able to go for a run after being in a hospital bed for days, and as I walked I thought about the heart situation. I turned my hands over palms up, felt the rain drops, and I said "There are no mistakes. This is exactly what I need right now. I'm going to receive it." I'd been ready to feel worried and awful about it - but I just didn't. I felt good. I felt grateful. I had it all. I had my lessons and my journey and whatever there was to learn from the heart situation. I had a run in the rain and my heart was just fine in that moment, but if it hadn't been, that would have been okay too. I just had it. I had this life.

So I guess having it all has become the gift of believing I have it all everyday, no matter what. It isn't how I once would have described my version of having it all, but it's where I am right now.

P.S. The picture of the peony arrived and I love it. So do my husband and son. Thank you!

Posted by: Jennifer at July 8, 2008 06:38 AM

Not at the same time is my current approach. I can be a human rights lawyer in Afghanistan, and a writer living at the beach in New Zealand, and a mother of some sort (exact form as yet undetermined) and a great friend. I can go hiking in Yellowstone Park and scuba-diving in Bali. I can create a beautiful home and pay off my mortgage. I can get qualified as a yoga teacher and get an advanced degree in psychology. I can learn how to love my wonderful boyfriend without leaping ahead to ideas about the future or getting scared by fears from the past. I can see Colombia and Morocco and wander again through the markets of Turkey. I just can't do all those things at once.

Most of all, having it all for me has always felt closest when I am most entirely present. Learning to let go of ideas and stories about what is happening now and just experience it, that seems to bring me closest to having it all.

Posted by: Marianne at July 8, 2008 06:22 AM

Life is a series of ebbs and flows. Life is constantly changing and growing. Even if you had all of the lovely things on your list you would still yearn for something new.
You TOTALLY hit the nail on the head when you said "having it all eventually, just not all at once". I believe THAT is possible.

Lastly, if you have your health, and the good health and love of family and friends, then and ONLY THEN you really DO have it all.

Posted by: carolyn at July 8, 2008 04:05 AM

living in a cosy, light, clutter-free space with a garden where I can hang out the laundry, enjoying my time with those close to me, playing with my daughter, creating art with my daughter, cooking and eating good nutritious meals, spending time in nature, being adventurous...

Posted by: Vanessa Voss at July 8, 2008 03:30 AM

I think that having it all could mean two different things to me:

1. Having the freedom and means to travel everywhere I want to go, to be independent, to buy cute clothes even though my body isn't the shape I'd like it to be, to have friends to bake for whenever I wanted to. To have the courage to apply for grad school and pursue a Master's in photography. To have the actual creativity that such a pursuit probably requires. To know that my sister loves me, even though I haven't had any proof of that in the past three years or so.

or,

2. Being cool with who I am, with what I do, with the friends and family that I have. Enjoying the circumstances that are given to me and making the best of them.

Both options seem equally unlikely to me from where I stand.

Posted by: Abs at July 7, 2008 11:56 PM

I know exactly how you feel. Right now, I'm balancing a demanding job, running a small business & renovating a house.

What I would love is to find a comfortable job that I enjoy, have the house beautifully decorated and be running a hugely successful business. Oh - and on top of this I would like to have a child and be writing fiction for a top publishing house!

This is all possible, but sometimes the baby steps are painfully slow. I have to trust that these small increments will take me where I want to go.

Posted by: Mel at July 7, 2008 11:39 PM

I have it all. In that I have as much or as little as I need. I do not have children, nor at my age am I likely to. I thought having it all would include having a family and a partner. It didn’t. I do have a very non-conventional relationship. He left a well paid job to study fine arts, I have a small business (as a health practitioner) and work 3 days a week. On non-work days I write, blog, walk, see friends, chat to the cats.

I guess what I am saying is that when there was something “missing” in my life that was beyond my control, the ache, the wanting, the grief of it made me feel like what the Buddhists refer to as a “hungry ghost” – too busy craving what I want to be in the moment and enjoy what I do have.

But if we was going to have a wish list it would be for better health for my parents, some greater flexibility to travel, to have get a string of books published, to spend more time in the garden and to laugh more.

Posted by: another outspoken female at July 7, 2008 10:55 PM

my husband and i just got back from a walk, he was saying when people ask what it is like to have twins, to be a parent he will now answer 'it is disgustingly hard and the best thing we have ever done'.

what does it look like. it would be us in a van exploring other countries and places like montana and whistler again, just with them involved. it would be endless hours of crafting while the boys contentedly played and crafted with me. it would be sleeping again and waking each day ready to go, like i used to. it would be remembering to go on walks with him and the dog, by ourselves so we can really talk. what else? it would be having it all...the finished house, the family close but no longer in our house, the time to really focus and prepare good meals and see old friends and not disrupt the sacred schedule all at the same time.

i think i am learning, like you, it will happen. just not right now. right now having it all is watching them discover their words, their bodies, their abilities. that can be enough, most days.

Posted by: mamie at July 7, 2008 10:01 PM

I'm seven months pregnant. I'm 39. This is my first child. I didn't have amniocentisis because of the risk of miscarriage. I've been a bit obsessive lately and I only want one thing in order to have it "all". Please let this child be healthy and normal. That's it. That's all I ask for.

Posted by: E at July 7, 2008 08:54 PM

i have a husband whom i love.
i have the pleasure of spending my days with our two beautiful children...learning as we grow.
i have family and friends that make up an amazing community of really wonderful people.
i have a growing network of lovely women, yourself included, that continue to challenge, inspire, encourage and support me.

i'd say, in my world, having it all means being able to see clearly...even on the bad days...the incredible blessings that are always right in front of me.

i'm so glad you're on the road to recovery.
xoxoxo

Posted by: Kirsten Michelle at July 7, 2008 08:42 PM

Having it all. Having it all... Hmmm.

I think I am coming to realize that I have it all in every moment. This is the only moment there is and I am trying to live in each moment as it comes.

Of course, that's not to say that I don't also want an amazing warm and welcoming home, full of art and light and music and children and books and food and plants and love. I want to make a living from my writing and my art. I want to teach. I want to help people live creative lives. I want to be centered and spiritual.

It is funny that I am really dealing with these issues myself right now. Maybe it's what happens when your kids reach a certain age and you can start thinking about getting back to your old goals.

And yes, being a mom does change everything, and not just in those ways that you expect.

Posted by: rowena at July 7, 2008 08:40 PM

I'm trying to describe how I've been feeling lately. I am becoming really aware of the things I want in my life and the list is long and inspiring and broad and balanced. But it's almost like being too balanced is stressing me out. Does this make sense?

I think what spoke to me was how you wrote about all the things you wanted and then, "All the while having a soulful family life, balanced and relaxed, where we read a lot, play games with Ben and take long walks in the woods." ... for me, learning to do nothing is a theme that comes up every time I seek help in my life. At the same time, I know I feel better when I break out of my shell and try new, daring things. But if I can't have a nice cozy, nothing-doing space to return to, what good's that?
And I think about having kids, but that's just ancillary. I don't even include that in my lists right now because it's as if I've decided I can't have kids and all the other things.

Posted by: Amanda at July 7, 2008 08:03 PM

I'm trying to describe how I've been feeling lately. I am becoming really aware of the things I want in my life and the list is long and inspiring and broad and balanced. But it's almost like being too balanced is stressing me out. Does this make sense?

I think what spoke to me was how you wrote about all the things you wanted and then, "All the while having a soulful family life, balanced and relaxed, where we read a lot, play games with Ben and take long walks in the woods." ... for me, learning to do nothing is a theme that comes up every time I seek help in my life. At the same time, I know I feel better when I break out of my shell and try new, daring things. But if I can't have a nice cozy, nothing-doing space to return to, what good's that?
And I think about having kids, but that's just ancillary. I don't even include that in my lists right now because it's as if I've decided I can't have kids and all the other things.

Posted by: Amanda at July 7, 2008 08:03 PM

As I said to a colleague recently who was wondering how she would manage the return to work after having a baby... you can have it all, you just have to accept less of each thing.

For me, that means accepting that I will miss some of my child's "firsts" while I'm at work (although there will always be a first time for me); passing up promotions because the extra responsibilities will take away time from my family; giving up some hobbies and interests (i can always return to them at a later date); cutting corners with meals and housework; and generally letting go of the high standards I have for everything that I do. That's not easy for an overachiever like me, but I keep telling myself that even when I'm doing my second-best it's still pretty darn good!

Posted by: Liana at July 7, 2008 07:12 PM

Oh you gotta check out Refuse to Choose by Barbara Sher.

Cheers miss Nia master Yogini! (I'm taking Nia training in the winter.)

Posted by: B. at July 7, 2008 07:12 PM

I think we've been drinking from the same sippy cup, you and I!

Posted by: Jena Strong at July 7, 2008 07:10 PM

I think we've been drinking from the same sippy cup, you and I!

Posted by: Jena Strong at July 7, 2008 07:10 PM

I think we've been drinking from the same sippy cup, you and I!

Posted by: Jena at July 7, 2008 07:08 PM

Wow. Can you describe my life any better? I am all about the possibilities and having it all, and as much as I know there is a very big unlikelihood of having it all, a little part of me still holds hope for having it all.

My having it all? To be a successful photographer at a large magazine firm (or more than one), to do design and write for a large mag firm, to settle down with a family and have flexible hours to be there for my kids all the time and play with them, to learn Italian in Italy, to be a yogini, and so much more. I don't think I'm entirely sure what my "all" is yet, but it sure will be a lot.

Posted by: Emily at July 7, 2008 06:07 PM

this is a great question. Thank you for always asking good questions.

It looks like I am open and receiving love in and expressing love outward.

learning, sharing, laughing, creating, expressing, resting, being.

I think having good close friends, a warm home with a fantastic husband who is my best friend, and a drive to learn and express myself creatively is having it all.

I have been isolated, shut down, and alone even in a crowd and that is the opposite of what I would like my life to be.

Having it all means I get to start my day over at any time - if I feel like it's not going well.
It means I have friends to call and reach out to if I am feeling blue. It means I am comforted by the things I have accomplished and accept that this life is not a race and I can slow down and take a day off and power lounge on the couch and watch tv all day long.

Posted by: Catherine at July 7, 2008 05:13 PM

Being able to explore all my passions, support my husband's passions as well, watch my son (and coming babe) thrive and still make time to snuggle up on the couch and watch a really good movie. I am thriving through imperfection!
Good luck on all your dreams...
-erin

Posted by: Juneau.Eco.Mommie at July 7, 2008 05:04 PM

Hmmmm...it WAS working constantly, leaving the house at 6:30 a.m., going to school for an advanced degree, dropping off and picking up the kids at school and daycare and everyone falling asleep by 7:00 p.m. during the school year. THEN came the layoff. Now I work part-time for very little money, am able to be at school for some of the things they are doing (which I never did before). The kids really like it that I am a "home mom" as they call it. I can't quite get used to it, but it's not like I have a lot of choice. Can you have it all? I'm really beginning to think that no you can't. Not possible. It is a give and take....or a give OR take.

Can't tell you how bad I felt a year ago when I knew I was going to be laid-off. At that point I took off a lot of days to see stuff at my kids' school during the end of the year (you know, what are they going to do...fire me?). You know its bad when almost all the parent know your kids but you don't know any kids or any parents. Also, when my son was putting on his kindergarden play, I was actually there, and I saw him craning his neck to look for me and I saw him happy that I was there. Then I thought about my daughter, who is going to be in 6th grade and wondered how many times did she crane her neck looking for me and I was NEVER there. That really puts the conflict in the work/home argument.

Posted by: chris at July 7, 2008 04:54 PM

wow - I really enjoyed that photo.

I'm working on striking a balance in my own life between being content with the amazing things with which I've already been blessed and continuously grasping for that which is slightly beyond my reach.

i'm still a work in progress. I have to remind myself about the appreciate and enjoy part all the time

Posted by: judy haley (coffeejitters) at July 7, 2008 04:29 PM

I'm at a later stage of life. My babies are 23, 21, and 16.....and I just want to say that childhood goes so very fast...having it all is really about staying mindful in the moment. The good, the bad, the joyful...... Realizing all that divine love has given, gives, will give to me. Having it all means realizing that I can't do it all at once and being completely fine with that. Having it all means realizing that I do have all I need in every moment. Having it all is remembering to slow down and savor each and every smile, flower, laugh, kiss, butterfly, hug, and............................everything.

Posted by: amber at July 7, 2008 03:45 PM

I am ALL too familiar with this feeling since becoming a mother. Lately, with the kids home for summer break, it's even more obvious how much time they require and how irritable one adult can get from too much time with their children, lol.

But, like you, I want to spend time with them doing all the family stuff...fireworks and making ice cream, playing in the pool and going for bike rides. But I also want to just sit and read, listen to music that isn't Dan Zanes, talk with my husband, garden and go antique shopping and TRAVEL. I try my best to do it all, within reason. Some weeks I feel like I did a great job at hitting it all (of course I feel absolutely exhausted), while other weeks I feel like a hopeless failure at any part of it...family, fun, adventure, education, relaxation. Any of it.

I think the best thing to do is to take each day one at a time. That's what I've come to find is the best at not making you feel overwhelmed or disappointed. Every day is different. Kids get sick and throw up in the middle of your plans etc. So just get up, see what mood everyone is in and what time is available all around and just let it flow. Letting it flow is something I've grown to acquire in myself over the past nearly seven years of being a mom. At first I wanted to plan it all and when it didn't go according to plan I freaked. Over time I've loosened up and let go of being in control a bit and it's worked much better. Oh, and I let go of feeling guilty for wanting things for myself (about year 2 is when that started, lol). I thought being the best mom in the world required being soley attentive to the kids and letting things for myself take a back burner. After about two years of that though I became very resentful towards my daughter...and myself. So I started taking time for myself and then I became happier and a better mother.

Just my two cents.

Posted by: amy j. at July 7, 2008 03:42 PM

I literally just returned from a long lunch with coworkers where they spent a solid 90 minutes conversing about the downside of having children. One even announced how much she dislikes her 13 year old at the present moment because her daughter is a typical 13 year old. The second I said "well, I suppose I won't be having children anytime soon"' they all stopped to tell me that having children is the greatest thing ever and they couldn't live without their children, etc.

Thanfully, I am one of those childless types who actually believes and realizes the latter but whoo, there was a tiny bit of panic there for a second.

Posted by: Heather B. at July 7, 2008 02:03 PM

Having it all - for me - right now, would be knowing that my husband has some security in his work. It's actually ALWAYS knowing that my husband has some security in his work...work is one of the ways he defines himself and he's having a difficult time right now.
Send us some energy, won't you?

Posted by: blackbird at July 7, 2008 01:45 PM

Having it all looks like this minute, this minute right now, I must remind myself continuously, lest I see myself as perpetually shortchanged. Thank you for this gentle reminder to fill myself up by emptying out!

Posted by: Karen Maezen Miller at July 7, 2008 01:27 PM

What a great question!

I find myself doing the same thing to my childless friends--one one hand saying it it so hard, enjoy your time now, but on the other hand I want to convey to them that it is the best thing in the world!

I overdrive, too, and I know it and try to slow down but there are so many things I want to do/experience...how does one decide to just cut things out???

Posted by: Aimee at July 7, 2008 01:17 PM

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, too. I don't have kids, and am not thinking about having kids, but I do have this multifaceted career that's all about writing and reading and teaching, and that encourages me to explore pretty widely (and sometimes pretty wildly). In most ways, it's such a blessing--but I do find myself wanting to do everything--everything!--at the same moment.

What I'm trying to learn now is how to *focus* on the few things that I really want to master, all the way, so that I have a better way to decide what I really, really, really want to do when I have one of those "everything right now!" moments. Somehow, that idea of focus and your idea about patience seem to me to go hand in hand.

Posted by: Dr. S at July 7, 2008 01:15 PM