Category Archives: Good things

Courage interview with Rachael Maddox: Healing from sexual trauma

Hey friends,

So excited to bring you this interview today! It’s a brave + vulnerable conversation with me and Rachael Maddox. We talk about her work in helping women heal from sexual trauma and how we can all move toward our aliveness by listening to our spirit and our bodies.

This conversation is deeply personal and on a topic that has normally been taboo for me – sex. I originally recorded it for the Cultivating Courage course, but realized that there might be more women out there who need to hear it. So here it is! From our hearts to yours. Enjoy!

 

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Rachael Maddox is a life coach, a trauma specialist, a singer-songwriter and most recently the author of the book: Secret Bad Girl: A Sexual Trauma Memoir and Resolution Guide.  To see more about Rachel or work with her as a coaching client, go to her website here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexy Grounded Power Fairy.

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“Sexy grounded power fairy! That’s it!” I practically shouted this on the phone during my coaching session with Rachael Maddox.

We had been exploring 2016 -what I’m calling in and what my spirit is moving towards. She helped me explore this through the lens of archetypes which was new to me and super powerful. Turns out this year is a lot about transitioning from one archetype to another – growing into a new version of myself, becoming the grown up expression of me, my essence in full bloom.

We started by identifying my current archetype (one I’ve identified with for a long time) which is some kind of magical fairy – innocent, playful, spontaneous, magic. She loves color and beauty and moves toward joy. She brings light… “

But as much as I love her (and her gifts have taken me so far!) I feel the rumblings of something new. My new life is calling for a grown up version, a heartier version, one who can handle being a single mother, one who can manifest big things… She isn’t afraid people won’t like her if she shines too bright.

What should we call her? Rachael asked.

“I don’t know… “ I began, “but the words coming to me are sexy, grounded and powerful… maybe we just call her sexy-grounded-power-fairy for now?”
“SEXY GROUNDED POWER FAIRY! THAT’S IT!” Maybe Rachael shouted this. I don’t remember.

I just remember I got chills.
And the name stuck.

I’ve been trying this out. What would sexy grounded power fairy do? She would take a look at her numbers right now. She would open these bills. She would ask for what she needs. She would say no and not give an excuse. She would just keep writing…

She’s still got the magic, but less of the magical thinking.
She’s got all the innocent beauty, but doesn’t disown her power, her pleasure or her joy.
She speaks her truth in a grounded, compassionate, heart-centered way.
She’s not afraid to ruffle a few feathers.

How about you?

What are you moving towards this year? Who are you becoming? What would you call her?

p.s. And if you need Rachael to take you there, you can find her here.

 

Life on Purpose Podcast + other good things.

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I’m so honored to be interviewed for one of my favorite podcasts today – Life on Purpose​ with Gregory Berg! I also love that (serendipitously!) I am featured just after my mentor and friend SARK and Dr. John Waddell. They just came out with the most incredible book about love + relationship called Succulent Wild Love. This book is full of deep wisdom and already my favorite SARK book so far.

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I’m also delighted to have contributed an essay in the section about love going separate ways. It feels so good to share a bit of my ever-unfolding story there.

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E-course Bootcamp starts Monday, January 11th, 2016

Have you been thinking about creating an e-course? I’d love to mentor you. Hit reply if you’d like to chat a bit before signing up! I can help you decide if it’s a good fit for you. (Just $399 right  now)

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Cultivating Courage starts Monday, January 18th, 2016

Our creative superpowers are like muscles we can strengthen. As we build our capacity to be brave, we discover our confidence and our mojo. We trust ourselves more. The world opens up to us in new ways. Let’s make 2016 our most courageous year yet!

Have you been dreaming of Bali?

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Andrea Scher and Juna Mustad are co-leading a retreat April 21st-27th, 2016 called Wake up in Bali.
Each day will be focused on a particular kind of waking up -waking up to beauty, waking up to our gifts, waking up to our intuition, waking up to Spirit.

Let’s wake up together

Our vision is pretty simple: Gather a group of amazing women for a joy-filled experience in one of the most magical places on earth. We will capture the gorgeous colors of Bali with our cameras, eat beautiful food, visit sacred sites and connect deeply with each other (and ourselves) in a workshop setting. It will be a combination of the inner work of going deep together (journalling, storytelling, yoga, sharing) and the outer adventures of experiencing Bali and the lush beauty everywhere.

Are you ready to wake up to your gifts?
Your intuition? Your joy?

It will be healing.
It will be transformative.
It will be full of joy + connection.

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When: April 21st-27th, 2016
Where: Ubud, Bali
What: Waking up to your joy, your gifts, your inner voice.
Who: An intimate group of 15 luminous women
Price: $1600 (Includes lodging at Naya Ubud Resort + 3 glorious meals a day. Plus field trips to sacred sites, beaches + other surprises each day). Deposit is $500 to secure your spot.

For more details or to Sign Up, Click HERE!

 

 

Some very good things you should know about.

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1. I have been creating abstract paintings! I’m obsessed. Painting has always been my first love… and I just rediscovered it. It’s possibly the only thing in the world that puts me in a deep, mystical kind of flow. I don’t need anything when I’m painting – the phone to ring, food.  I don’t need to be anywhere but exactly where I am. It’s such a gift.

To deepen my practice, I’m going to be taking Mati Rose McDonough’s Daring Adventure’s in Abstract Painting course. I’m a big fan of Mati + super excited to learn from her. We also happen to share a studio! So I can get some one on one help as well. 😉

There are a limited number of spots at the $129 price. So grab your spot now! and I’ll see you in there.

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2. There is a space opening up in my studio here in Berkeley. If you would love to paint, create, design, write, do what you do in the company of rad women (of course you do!) hit reply and shoot me a message. I’ll give you the details. The space is the one next to mine, in the corner.

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3. I got my nose pierced! What?! I finally realized I am a grown up and I can do things like this.

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4. I knew this banana reminded me of someone. Then I figured it out.

 

 

 

 

 

Good enough mom.

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Photo by Andrea Scher

He texted, “What question do you not want me to ask you? What question would you find disconcerting?”

I didn’t write it. I didn’t dare. But what came to mind was this: Are you a good mother?

Because all I can see sometimes is how I fail them.
How I’m not good enough.
How I don’t read to them long enough, and I shout, and I don’t volunteer in the classroom.

I hear about homemade muffins + family dinners and I think about our meals –  haphazard, no one staying in their chair, at least 3 different meals at play, not enough vegetables.

I think about the cavity on Nico’s tooth, the one right in the front – how on earth did he get a cavity there? and I can see how I delay getting him to the dentist. I imagine him with a gold tooth right there in the front and I feel mortified. I’d rather they just pulled that sucker out. He doesn’t need it, right? It’s just a baby tooth.

And I can see of course that this is all about me,
and that hidden part of me,
those two words inscribed somewhere inside my wounded heart: not enough.

And of course I will take him to the dentist, but I can already see myself rehearsing my lines – “I told him he needed to brush ALL of his teeth, someone (not me) has clearly been giving him gummy worms…”

However you slice it, there it is – bad mother.

Do all mothers feel this way?

I suppose if I really thought I was a terrible mother I wouldn’t be writing this – the shame would keep me hiding. But how do you get to good enough mother? and what is that anyway? There’s no way to tell.

Imperfect mother. Maybe I’ll make a t-shirt that says that. Or maybe we need a hashtag #imperfectmom

I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. Maybe so I don’t feel so alone. Maybe so you don’t. Maybe we’ll all start wearing t-shirts that say funny things. Maybe it would help in those moments when you stare at that other mom – that perfect mom – from across the playground. Maybe it would help if she had a shirt that said, “I don’t know what I’m doing either. I’m totally in over my head. Let’s be friends.”

 

On my nightstand.

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Here are the books I am enjoying right now:

Wondering Who You Are: A Memoir by Sonya Lea
A beautifully written, mind-blowing kind of love story written by my friend Sonya Lea about the loss of her husband’s memory after a traumatic brain injury. It’s tender and fierce and real and wise.

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Illuminating, heart-breaking, beautifully written.

Art Before Breakfast: A Zillion Ways to be More Creative No Matter How Busy You Are by Danny Gregory
Inspiration for my art practice. I love how Danny makes it fun and easy.

Wear Gratitude (Like A Sweater): Art + Words to Inspire by Susa Talan
Gorgeous little gift book full of inspiring quotes and art. My friends are so talented!

The Crossroads of Should and Must by Elle Luna
This one gives you courage for whatever creative leap you are imagining.

Orchard House: How a Neglected Garden Taught One Family to Grow by Tara Austen Weaver
You might know Tara from her great blog, Tea and Cookies. I love how she weaves her personal story with the tangle of the garden and the shared vision she has with her family. Poignant and healing.

Full: How I Learned to Satisfy My Insatiable Hunger and Feed My Soul by Kimber Simpkins
My friend and longtime yoga teacher shares her story about healing her eating disorder through yoga and body love. Going to her classes has helped me be friendlier to my body as well. She is full of wisdom.

Books I am reading next:


Rising Strong: Been so excited to read my friend Brené Brown’s brand new book!


Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert
Best title ever. And one of my favorite writers.


Light is the New Black: A Guide to Answering your Souls Callings and Working Your Light by Rebecca Campbell
This is one of those books that Amazon suggested I read and for some reason it lit up as a big yes. It should be arriving today.

For my kids:


Sometimes I Feel Like a Fox by Danielle Daniel
Been loving this book! and choosing which totem animal is ours. Beautifully illustrated.


Hilda and the Midnight Giant by Luke Pearson
I usually don’t love graphic novels but this one really captured me. The illustrations are so magical.

What’s on your nightstand?

 

Make a list of things that make you happy.

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I posted this graphic on my Facebook page and was excited to see how many people shared it. So I decided to actually make my lists + invite you to do the same!

Let’s do this.

What do you notice?
What little adjustments can you make?
How can you honor the things that matter to you most? how can you sprinkle in more things that bring you joy?

My joy list + musings on how the lists compare

 

 

You are here to risk your heart.

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Pink dahlia, photo by Andrea Scher

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” ~Louise Erdrich

 

Super-Friends Series: Laurel Bleadon-Maffei

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Laurel Bleadon-Maffei, photo by Andrea Scher

Laurel helped me through one of the darkest periods of my life. She is the one I would reach out to during the times I felt most lost, when I needed reassurance and someone to guide me forward.

Her gifts as an intuitive are love-soaked and powerful – imagine getting a coaching session filled with pure unconditional love + laser beam intuition on how your path is unfolding. She starts each session calling in angels and guides… and I get full body chills + tears every time.

It was an honor to photograph her recently. I love you Laurel Bleadon-Maffei! (And if you want to see one of her “energetic updates” you can see one here)

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Laurel Bleadon-Maffei, photo by Andrea Scher

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Laurel Bleadon-Maffei, photo by Andrea Scher