Two sides of the same coin*

drawing by my friend Michelle's kids, shot with Canon Xsi

They loved the fog that appeared unexpected this morning, a relief, like a miracle, and the boy shouted, “It’s the first snow!”

They loved popsicles and good company.
They loved to splash in a few inches of water.
They loved a funny face, especially the really ugly ones that looked like exotic fish.

She loved the quiet, the morning, before the demands, the whining, the chaos of toys, shoes, socks, diapers, clif bars strewn across the kitchen floor. She loved that moment when she realized, They are asleep...  and the exhaustion finally had permission to kick in.

She loved sleeping diagonally. She loved how cool the sheets felt, how the down pillow was just the right thickness and didn’t prop her head up too much but let it sink in.

She loved when she made a good paper airplane.

She loved when she said the right thing, when she didn’t yell, when she said yes. She loved when she said, please don’t do that, gently and politely and not in a scary way.

She loved when boy number one had just woken up and the sweetness of conversation, about the sky and questions like, “Why does a T-rex have such small arms when it has such a big body?”

She loved his questions, like the one after the blood draw, when he asked, “Where does all your blood go when you die?” and she was shy to answer because a doctor was walking by, but said it anyway, “Maybe it just dries up because you don’t need it anymore.”

She loved the songs he sings in the car, how out of nowhere he would burst into full musical theater about how he loves his bed but hates to sleep in it. “I love it! I hate it! I love it! I hate it!” and the more she laughed, the more animated he got.

She loved a good night’s sleep, a good cry, a good unenlightened venting with a friend about everything that’s wrong. She loved her Awakening Joy class and hearing Julia Butterfly Hill and thinking about her in that tree.

She loved how Julia said, “Our gifts are sourced from our wounds. They are two sides of the same coin.”

 

12 Comments

  1. Posted September 30, 2011 at 4:55 pm | Permalink

    Uh-oh, another class I want to take!

    And I was really hoping to hear your answer to this one: “Why does a T-rex have such small arms when it has such a big body?”

    Sending you softness, as you continue to be gentle with yourself.

  2. Hillary
    Posted September 30, 2011 at 5:07 pm | Permalink

    So beautiful Andrea – thank you for sharing both sides of the coin. The mix is everything isn’t it? The questions, the smiles and gooey hugs, the tantrums and hurt and fear, but most of all the love. There is a lyric in one of my favourite Ray Lamontagne song about not being ready for such a heavy-handed love, feeling you’ve been hit by lightening and lately I’ve been feeling like it is such a perfect fit for how I feel about my two littles – thunderstruck, in every way. Be well.
    x Hillary

  3. elizabeth
    Posted September 30, 2011 at 5:44 pm | Permalink

    Sending you love and healing. Thank you for this….

  4. Posted September 30, 2011 at 8:59 pm | Permalink

    I’m not sure how to type the sound I made after I finished reading this, but it was something like Mmm. It was a good sound. A soul sound. Love to you Andrea.
    Jennifer

  5. Nattie
    Posted September 30, 2011 at 9:43 pm | Permalink

    I am expecting my first child and you gave me so much to look forward to. With a happy sigh ~ TGIF!

    Much Love,

    Nattie

  6. Posted September 30, 2011 at 11:26 pm | Permalink

    Wow Andrea. Such beautiful words.

  7. Posted October 1, 2011 at 5:52 pm | Permalink

    Lovely, just lovely to read, to feel those feelings through this. Thank you.

  8. Posted October 1, 2011 at 5:59 pm | Permalink

    so cool that you posted this sweetie – I loved hearing you read it xxxx

  9. Beth
    Posted October 2, 2011 at 1:50 am | Permalink

    You’re just so lovely and true that it’s palpable to me…the loveliness, the inspiration, the way that I resonate. How I love you’re posts. And some day soon, I’m going to sit down and write you a little letter and tell you in some detail what your words mean to me.
    But for tonight, thanks.

  10. Molly quiglet
    Posted October 4, 2011 at 3:09 pm | Permalink

    You are an excellent writer, my friend. Enjoyed this so.

  11. Posted October 5, 2011 at 7:58 pm | Permalink

    This is by far the most wonderful text I’ve read from you. Totalle with you on the emotional level and love, love, love that you are going for a more poetic, less “photo-realistic” voice.

  12. Mariella Newton
    Posted October 6, 2011 at 5:18 pm | Permalink

    Right on! xo ~ M.

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